The line my overworked tired as hell drawing teacher said to me over the summer- the line than made me pace and rage against all of the evil I have committed in this lifetime- the line that drove me half insane with a sense of broken desperation... tell me one true thing...
I'm tired.
so tired I fear lyme disease or chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm so tired my hair folicles aches with the burden of growing gray...
sinse I have been to artschool I have had to twist my ideas and behavior so drastically that I have snapped and mended repeatedly...
So many useless excersises intended to trigger a spark and fix a knowledge of reality in observation, each level trying to undo the mistakes of the level that cames before with a bitch and a moan and a frown of discontent at not being a true artist...
all the while I am learning that true learning comes from personal, hands on experience and research.
Senior moments... it'll all be over soon enough.
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